Funny New Year Quotes

Ring in this New Year in style with peals of laughter and jingles of giggles in the air. Beginning of the year holds immense significance in lives of most people, for one or the other reason. Some make New Year's resolutions, while others spend a lot of time as well as energy in preparing New Year greetings for their near and dear ones. This year, add a little fun and joy in your new wishes by adding some all-time funny and intelligent New Year quotes in them; these will definitely bring a smile on the recipient's face and inspire him/her to start the fresh year on a positive note. You will find some of the all-time rib tickling, funny New Year quotes listed below. Read on.

Humorous New Year Quotes

It wouldn't be New Year's if I didn't have regrets.
- William Thomas

Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So, overweight people are now average. This means you've met your New Year's resolution.
- Jay Leno

Happiness is too many things these days for anyone to wish it on anyone lightly. So let's just wish each other a bileless New Year and leave it at that.
- Judith Crist

Ever new year is the direct descendant, isn't it, of a long line of proven criminals?
- Ogden Nash

May all your troubles last as long as your New Year's resolutions.
- Joey Adams

The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you're married to.
- P.J. O'Rourke

Making resolutions is a cleansing ritual of self-assessment and repentance that demands personal honesty and, ultimately, reinforces humility. Breaking them is part of the cycle.
- Eric Zorn

A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.
- Author Unknown

An optimist stays up until midnight to see the New Year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.
- Bill Vaughan

People are so worried about what they eat between Christmas and the New Year, but they really should be worried about what they eat between the New Year and Christmas.
- Author Unknown

New Year's Day...now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.
- Mark Twain

I made no resolutions for the New Year. The habit of making plans, of criticizing, sanctioning and molding my life, is too much of a daily event for me.
- Anais Nin

New Year's Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time.
- James Agate

I'm a little bit older, a little bit wiser, a little bit rounder, but still none the wiser.
- Robert Paul

What you do for Jewish New Year is you go down to Times Square... It's a lot quieter than the regular New Year. It's just a few Jews walking around going, 'sup?
- Jon Stewart

It goes Christmas, New Year's Eve, and Valentine's Day. Is that fair to anyone who's alone? If you didn't get around to killing yourself on Christmas or New Year's, boom, there's Valentine's Day for you. There should be a holiday after Valentine's Day called Are you still here?
- Laura Kightlinger

Many people look forward to the New Year for a new start on old habits.
- Author Unknown

New Year's Eve, where auld acquaintance is to be forgot. Unless, of course, those tests come back positive.
- Jay Leno

No one ever regarded the First of January with indifference. It is that from which all date their time, and count upon what is left. It is the nativity of our common Adam.
- Charles Lamb

I do think New Year's resolutions can't technically be expected to begin on New Year's Day, don't you? Since, because it's an extension of New Year's Eve, smokers are already on a smoking roll and cannot be expected to stop abruptly on the stroke of midnight with so much nicotine in the system. Also dieting on New Year's Day isn't a good idea as you can't eat rationally but really need to be free to consume whatever is necessary, moment by moment, in order to ease your hangover. I think it would be much more sensible if resolutions began generally on January the second.
- Helen Fielding

The New Year begins in a snow-storm of white vows.
- George William Curtis